Ikigai en

So many people will ask this question at one point in their life: who am I really? The question might pop up after a major life event, or after having lived in a rut for a while. It may be surfacing as part of a mid-life crisis or because of having outgrown yourself.

When you know who you are, you can live your life from the inside out. As opposed to living your life from the outside in, being determined by your environment and the people that surround you, seeking confirmation and validation for who you are and what you do. Knowing who you are is truly empowering, enabling you to live the life that you aspire, being truly happy and at peace with yourself.

“A point exists at about the thirty-fifth year when things begin to change, it is the first moment of the shadow side of life, of the going down to death. It is clear that Dante found this point and those who have read Zarathustra will know that Nietzsche also discovered it. When this turning point comes people meet it in several ways: some turn away from it; others plunge into it; and something important happens to yet others from the outside. If we do not see a thing Fate does it to us.”
– Carl Jung, The Black Books, Vol. I, Page 11

So where to start?

First and foremost, acknowledge that it is okay not to know where you currently stand. It is okay to having outgrown yourself. It is totally understandable to be shaking up by a major life event and not know what’s up next. Look at yourself and the journey you have been on with love and compassion. You did what you did with the knowledge you had then, and that was perfectly okay. Have empathy for yourself and think of what you would say to your best friend if they were in a similar situation.

Know that it is all part of life. We love, we loose, we grief, we build ourselves up again. We try things out, we make mistakes, we learn, we grow. We do, we succeed, we celebrate, we move on. We all go through transformation and we all get stuck sometimes.

Space and time

Give yourself time and space to explore who you are. This might require you to be still, meditate, go out in nature, or just sit with the thoughts and feelings that arise. Let go of all the thoughts of what you want to achieve, who you want to be. Just focus on the now, and let go of any judgmental labeling. It is not helpful to think of the things you ar not (yet), so focus on the positive aspects of you that you can acknowledge.

Ikigai

When you are ready and feel comfortable with it, focus on who you would like to be. My preferred approach is to finding your Ikigai, the Japanese concept referring to something that gives a person a sense of purpose, a reason for living.

Find the overlap in:

  • What you love
  • What you are good at
  • What the world needs
  • What you can be paid for

Understand that many people will have more than one passion in life, so it is perfectly fine to find 2 or 3 Ikigai!

Ikigai
Ikigai

Live your design

When you have found your Ikigai (or several Ikigai), envision who you would be when you would live that purposeful, fulfilling life. Visualize it, imagine how you would think like, how you would feel, how you would speak and how you would act. Embody it, as if you are already there, as if you are already that person. Don’t worry about the imposter syndrome, this is about sensing and feeling your true potential. Do this and you will easily and effortlessly become the person you are truly meant to be!

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